Hi there, !
Today Wed 04/04/2007 Tue 04/03/2007 Mon 04/02/2007 Sun 04/01/2007 Sat 03/31/2007 Fri 03/30/2007 Thu 03/29/2007 Archives
Rantburg -Signs, Portents, and the Weather-
534638 articles and 1864694 comments are archived on Rantburg.

Today: 79 articles and 437 comments as of 13:13.
Post a news link    Post your own article   
Area: WoT Operations    WoT Background    Non-WoT    Opinion    Local News   
Wazoo tribesmen attack Qaeda bunkers
Today's Headlines
Headline Comments [Views]
Page 5: Russia-Former Soviet Union
7 00:00 tu3031 [14]
-Signs, Portents, and the Weather-
Human Rights for Apes ("monkey invasion" vindicated!)
Beginning a movement that may propel Spain as a leader in animal welfare, the Balearic Parliament has recently announced its approval of a resolution to grant legal rights to great apes. The Balearic Islands are located in the western Mediterranean Sea, near the eastern coast of the Iberian Peninsula, and form one of the Autonomous Communities of Spain The Islands are one of the most popular holiday destinations in all of Europe
Deputy Margalida Rosselló presented the Balearic Parliament with the resolution early last summer, requesting a declaration of support for the mission of the Great Ape Project, International - to legally grant great apes freedom from torture, mistreatment and unnecessary death. This resolution has also been presented to the Spanish Government and is expected to be considered this summer after being deferred due to unrelated political issues last year. According the Pedro Pozas, Executive Director of Great Ape Project, Spain, “the decision of the Balearic Government to approve this Proposal, makes it a world-wide leader in the protection of the great apes and their habitat, as well as in the support of their rights.”

Opponents cite concern over granting “human” rights to animals. However, supporters are quick to point out that the resolution approved by the Balearic Parliament and proposed to the Spanish Government does not seek to grant great apes the same rights available only to humans. The proposition simply recognizes basic legal protections supported by biological and scientific evidence that great apes, like human children, experience an emotional and intellectual conscience similar to that of human children. For years, the scientific community has widely recognized that great apes experience intense emotions such as fear, anxiety, happiness; can independently solve puzzles and create and use tools; recognize the past and plan for their future; and can learn to communicate in and unilaterally teach a different language to their children.

By declaring its support of fundamental rights for great apes, the Balearic Parliament has taken scientific evidence to the next level by establishing a legal recognition that these creatures are conscious, self-aware beings that should not be tortured, abused and neglected. The efforts by the Balearic Parliament to stop the oppression of intelligent and self-aware beings who cannot speak for themselves is an important step in the political arena of animal rights.

Michele L. Stumpe, Esq.
President, Great Ape Project International

BIO:
Michele L. Stumpe, Esq. is an attorney and legal consultant who began working with gorillas, chimpanzees and orangutans as a teenager. Early in her career, Stumpe set out to combine her legal and business talents with her passion for conservation and great ape rights. She became the legal consultant to Gorilla Haven, the only gorilla sanctuary in the USA, and also served on the legal advisory board to the Great Ape Project, International. In 2005, she became a member of the Gorilla Haven Board of Directors and was appointed as a Trustee for the organization. She has volunteered at sanctuaries for great apes in Africa and the US. She currently serves as the President of Great Ape Project, International.

The Plot Thickens!

This is the current, most highly evolved version of a warning I issued a couple of years ago on several message boards, including Rantburg:

Monkey uprising overruns Bangladeshi town.
Monkeys terrorize Indian government.
Monkeys invade Indian embassy in Nepal. (An alliance with Maoist rebels?)

There is mounting evidence that monkeys and their relatives are plotting to overthrow human civilization, almost certainly in collusion with the great apes. That's right, you think they are cute hairy little bare-ass creatures, but don't let the sly beasts fool you!

At some point in the year 2008, the Moon will align with (something or other) and that will cause a great awakening in the conciousness of every ape, monkey, and baboon... spider monkeys and lemurs, too. Then the little monsters are going to rip and sack their way through the unsuspecting nations of the Earth.

Many leading humans have been aware of this simian conspiracy for some time. Why do you think experienced ape-fighter Charlton Heston was named to lead the NRA a few years ago? Heston is out of the loop now, but others have taken his place in preparing our resistance. Stock up on guns, ammo, and bananas!

The conspiracy seems concentrated in the Indian subcontinent. An attempt to gain control of Indian nuclear weapons at an early stage? Can faithful Rantburgers be sure that all of our posters are loyal humans? Couldn't one or more of them be the proverbial monkey pecking at a keyboard, sent here to spy out the scientifically concious resistance?

(Yes, I know that apes are not monkeys, but the great apes have long been suspected of masterminding the anti-human conspiracy.)

I will continue to raise the alarm about this gorilla warfare conspiracy, despite protests and threats from simian-citizens pressure groups and their lawyers and media dupes.

Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy || 04/01/2007 00:00 || Comments || Link || [14 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Wait -- how do we know that AC isn't a simian conspiracy operative put here to spread disinformation about their real plans? His nic is "Atomic Conspiracy" and he talks about the "simian conspiracy" -- but that's just too clever by half! He just WANTS us to think that the simians are operating alone, when all along it's Halliburton controlling the simian agents! Why do you think we call Bush "Chimpy McHalliburton"? Rovian plot! Rovian plot!
Posted by: Zorba Spinese6212 || 04/01/2007 1:45 Comments || Top||

#2  All I know is monkeys are mean and agressive. And never look one in the eye, it's just asking for trouble.
Posted by: phil_b || 04/01/2007 4:53 Comments || Top||

#3  Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Once you go monkey, you never go back.
Posted by: Anonymoose || 04/01/2007 12:22 Comments || Top||

#4  I understand they are being registered as Democrats for the next election.
Posted by: Glenmore || 04/01/2007 16:38 Comments || Top||

#5  If they have rights then they have responsibilities.

Wonder when the first monkey will be arrested.
Posted by: Theamble Forkbeard2343 || 04/01/2007 22:23 Comments || Top||

#6  On the topic of lower primate rights, I'll have to quote Dennis Miller:

If finding a cure for AIDS requires hooking up chimpanzees to car batteries, I've got only two things to say; Red is positive and black is negative.
Posted by: Zenster || 04/01/2007 22:26 Comments || Top||

#7  So can I sue them if they throw shit at me at the zoo?
Posted by: tu3031 || 04/01/2007 22:28 Comments || Top||



Who's in the News
79[untagged]

Bookmark
E-Mail Me

The Classics
The O Club
Rantburg Store
The Bloids
The Never-ending Story
Thugburg
Gulf War I
The Way We Were
Bio

Merry-Go-Blog











On Sale now!


A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.

Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.

Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has dominated Mexico for six years.
Click here for more information

Meet the Mods
In no particular order...
Steve White
Seafarious
tu3031
badanov
sherry
ryuge
GolfBravoUSMC
Bright Pebbles
trailing wife
Gloria
Fred
Besoeker
Glenmore
Frank G
3dc
Skidmark

Two weeks of WOT
Sun 2007-04-01
  Wazoo tribesmen attack Qaeda bunkers
Sat 2007-03-31
  Japan sets up missile defence shield near Tokyo
Fri 2007-03-30
  Abdur Rahman, Bangla Bhai stretchy neck
Thu 2007-03-29
  Arab League unanimously approves Saudi peace plan
Wed 2007-03-28
  US starts largest exercise since war
Tue 2007-03-27
  Hicks pleads guilty
Mon 2007-03-26
  Release Sufi Muhammad in 72 hours or Else: TNSM
Sun 2007-03-25
  UNSC approves new sanctions on Iran
Sat 2007-03-24
  Iran kidnaps Brit sailors, marines
Fri 2007-03-23
  LEBANON: 200 KG BOMB FOUND AT UNIVERSITY
Thu 2007-03-22
  110 killed as Waziristan festivities enter third day
Wed 2007-03-21
  40 killed in Wazoo clashes
Tue 2007-03-20
  Taha Yassin Ramadan escorted from gene pool
Mon 2007-03-19
  5000+ kilos of explosives seized in Mazar-e-Sharif
Sun 2007-03-18
  PA unity govt to meet officially on Sunday


Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
3.147.85.183
Help keep the Burg running! Paypal:
WoT Operations (28)    WoT Background (26)    Non-WoT (14)    Opinion (5)    Local News (6)